


When nine lives you have lost, look as good you will not

by athousandwinds



Category: Chronicles of Chrestomanci - Diana Wynne Jones
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 01:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandwinds/pseuds/athousandwinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scenes from a Star Wars AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When nine lives you have lost, look as good you will not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emilyenrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyenrose/gifts).



_i. The Phantom Menace_

Master Millie asked, "Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Senator Tesdinic, who didn't have Jedi senses, thought carefully about this. It was true that he was often watched, by holocams, by assassins and, of course, by other senators. Mostly, though, he didn't really notice. It was all so ordinary, and if you worried about being stabbed in the back all the time you'd never get anything done in politics.

He was, he had to admit, noticing this time.

"It would be hard not to," he said, sighing.

"That's what I thought," said Master Millie. " _Christopher_!"

Jedi Christopher sulked out from behind a pillar.

"You have to call me _Darth Chrestomanci_ now," he said, scowling extra-hard at his former master.

"Blow that," said Master Millie. "I left my book in my room at the Temple, be a dear and get it for me?"

"No!" said Darth Christopher, revolted.

"I don't mind, if you'll give me your pass," said Senator Tesdinic. "I've always wanted to see inside of the Temple."

"Oh, _thank_ you, Conrad," said Master Millie warmly. "I mean, Senator Conrad."

Darth Chrestomanci glowered.

  
 _ii. Revenge of the Sith_

"Fear leads to anger," intoned Master DeWitt, frowning intensely at the back corner where a faint shimmering was visible. "Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to – Christopher, either manifest or don't manifest."

"Oh, I see," said Master Millie. "I was wondering why you were telling _us_ about all that." There was a nodding consensus from the Jedi Council. "Really, Christopher, are you here for a reason?"

"I am here," said Darth Chrestomanci, manifesting his hologram in a grandiose fashion. Millie had been certain Sith Lords were only supposed to wear black, but Christopher was resplendent in red and gold. "I am here to take my revenge!"

"Oh, dear," said Master Millie. "What on earth for?"

"Accept my challenge or the Temple will face such a plague as it has never seen," said Christopher, ignoring her with determined vagueness. " _Apple-pie beds_!"

"Oh, Force," said Master Rosalie. It sounded like she'd wanted to say something stronger, but had restrained herself due to Christopher's youth.

"What is your challenge, foul Sith Lord?" enquired Master Mordecai, his laughter bubbling beneath his calm voice. Christopher grinned at him.

"What do you think?"

"Oh, excellent," said Master Mordecai.

"Excellent," Millie echoed hollowly. She'd had such a nice afternoon planned out, too, and now she had to play a cricket match.

"Right! See you later, Tac – oh, damn."

Christopher's hologram disappeared with a chagrined look. Master DeWitt turned slowly on his heel and stared hard at Master Mordecai, who was all-too-obviously racking his brains.

"...Do I have the honour of addressing Darth Tacroy?" Gabriel asked finally.

"Maybe," said Mordecai.

  
 _iii. A New Hope_

"You're deciding to turn good," said Senator Conrad in dubious tones.

"Not exactly," said Darth Chrestomanci, or Christopher, as he was now to be known. Master Millie felt a tic begin in her cheek.

"Oh, not exactly," she said.

"Well, no," said Christopher. "The fact of the matter is that I was badly misled as to the nature of my uncle's Force use and now I wish to atone." He sounded so lordly that Millie instantly took against him.

"You mean you're an idiot," she said.

"No," said Christopher crossly.

"If you say you're sorry, I might believe you," Conrad said judicially, "but until then I won't."

"Oh, fine," said Christopher. "I'm sorry, all right? I was an ass."

Conrad and Millie glanced at each other.

"All right," he said.

"If you're really sorry," she said.

Christopher stared at them blankly. "Well, of course," he said eventually, looking rather lost for words. "Why wouldn't you – "

"But you're still an idiot," said Conrad.

"Even if you're on our side," said Millie. With clear-sighted Jedi prophecy, she added, "Especially if you're on our side."

"I hate you both," said Jedi Christopher. He was already wishing he'd stayed a Sith Lord, because at least then he could have fried them both with Force lightning.


End file.
